La bellezza intima. Ciao Nonna

Oggi è San Valentino, e per quanto non sia una persona molto espansiva, ho pensato di festeggiare questo giorno con voi, con un racconto che è uscito dal cuore. Come quei gesti che nascono spontanei senza pensarci troppo su, come quando prendi la macchina e, nel cuore della notte, raggiungi la tua metà solo per il desiderio di un bacio, così, in una mattina qualsiasi, prendi carta e penna e scrivi di lei, la nonna che ti sarebbe piaciuto avere, ancora, a fianco

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Nata nel 1909 aveva perso tutto nella guerra. Torino era stata bombardata e lei, rimasta senza affetti ancora bambina, si era dovuta re-inventare. Aveva imparato le lingue, il suono degli strumenti, la dignità di chi si ritrova senza nulla, non per demeriti, ma per il destino della vita. Aveva un sorriso unico nel suo genere, di quelli che ti apre il cuore. Era capace di prendere quel flebile raggio di sole che attraversava le nuvole per portarlo davanti a te, e renderti felice, anche del nulla. Amava la famiglia, quella che aveva perso come quella che la vita le aveva saputo donare, non senza sforzi, non senza fargliela meritare. Aveva cresciuto una figlia che, a sua volta, aveva avuto un’altra figlia: io.

Usava la spazzola soffice, quella che dall’altro lato aveva uno specchio, e sembrava antichissima e mi era vietato toccare, ma tanto lei di nascosto me la faceva usare. Indossava cappellini e mi diceva sempre che, una donna che esce senza cappello, è come se varcasse la soglia senza aver stirato la camicia al marito: incompleta. Aveva i suoi riti, i suoi tempi, il suo lato del marciapiede, perché le donne camminano da questo lato della strada. Andava a Messa la domenica mattina, sempre a quella delle 10 perché i bambini cantano e sembra sempre Natale. Mi insegnava a contare, a vedere come un valore il fatto che papà viaggiasse tanto e ci portasse con sè. Mi raccontava del nonno, che non ho mai conosciuto, di quando lavorava sui sommergibili e disegnava le barche a vela. Mi spiegava che non c’era differenza fra i lati del mondo, che era solo una preclusione mentale, che i diritti sarebbero stati per tutti e che le donne sono lavoratrici più concentrate. Mi diceva di non abbandonare il mare, se non per brevi periodi, perché mi sarebbe mancato e di tenere le unghie in ordine ma corte che se c’è da pulire la verdura diventano nere se non usi il limone. Piegava e stirava i fazzoletti di stoffa, per darli in beneficenza insieme a lenzuola bianche mai usate. Beveva l’acqua del rubinetto e comprava il riso da tenere in dispensa. Cucinava piatti semplici con poco sale, perché non bisogna mai abituarsi ai vizi della vita. Aveva vissuto situazioni, suoni e scene che non ho mai avuto la possibilità di comprendere e si commuoveva allo sventolare del tricolore.

Dicono che la bellezza esteriore sia solo un piccolo riflesso della bellezza interiore, che invece si percepisce a poco a poco, che si nasconde agli occhi per regalarsi al cuore. E lei era bella, gioiosa e con quella voglia di vivere unica, che non ho mai ritrovato nello sguardo di nessun altro. Era elegante, con le movenze uniche di chi è nato così: affettuoso ed attento. Di chi è stato messo a dura prova dal destino e ne è uscito come un cigno, elegante e perfetto. Il suo segreto era proprio la sua bellezza intima, quella che l’aveva mantenuta pulita e serena anche quando il nero la avvolgeva, che l’aveva spronata a fare sempre meglio, a pensare che dopo la pioggia torna il sereno, l’abbraccio di un amore ed il sole che si specchia nel mare davanti a casa.

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