Quanto vale?

Quale è il valore delle cose?

No, non sto parlando di prezzo. Sto parlando del valore che le cose ricoprono per noi. Da piccola ero attaccata in maniera maniacale, tipo colla&attack alle mie cosine, da brava figlia unica non ero abituata alla condivisione, non ero pronta al “il mio è tuo e il tuo è mio”, anzi ho sempre pensato che fosse un po’ sciocco, della serie io se vuoi te lo presto ma poi tu me lo rendi ok?!

Non ho fatto l’asilo. E forse è lì che mi sono persa qualcosa. Mi sono persa le litigate con i bambini, le prime cotte, le prime scaramuccie fra femmine. Ma in tutta onestà a casa si stava da favola, anche se la tv la potevo guardare solo un’ora al giorno.

Comunque tutto questo era iniziato con il valore delle cose. Ecco, sono nata e cresciuta da figlia unica, ma la fiaba che chi non ha sorelle ha tutto spianato e dovuto, è utopia. Papà è sempre stato dell’idea che le cose te le guadagni, che noi non siamo un bancomat, che se una cosa la vuoi ti rimbocchi le maniche e ci provi da sola a raggiungerla. Poi loro stavano tipo paracadute di emergenza, sul lato a vedere se cadevo o meno
Mi sono ritrovata ben presto a camminare da sola, per strada come nella vita, perchè i piccoli saltano fuori dal nido prima o poi, è la natura, è il senso vero e naturale delle cose. Saltata di fuori non dovevo più stare a regole e costrizioni, che nel frattempo erano diventate talmente mie da non avere più quei nomi ma la stessa consistenza. Ne sono stata felice, profondamente perchè sono riusciti, senza clamore, a rendermi una persona indipendente. E le cose? Che ruolo hanno avuto in tutto questo?

Praticamente nulla. Mi sono ritrovata che, a me, delle cose importa poco. Ogni sei mesi scansiono il mio armadio alla ricerca di quel capo che non metto mai, e lo dono ad altri. Quando ho tempo e voglia faccio le pulizie di primavera, della serie regalo e s-vendo un botto di cose: libri in primis, d’altronde perchè tenersi una storia che qualcuno non ha ancora letto? E quale modo migliore se non lasciare un libro su ciascuna panchina del parco di Porta Venezia? Sono cose, hanno un ciclo, una vita loro, vanno lasciate andare. Almeno ogni tanto. Questo non significa che casa mia è spoglia ed asettica come quelle cucine laccate che si vedono nei negozi di arredamento. E’ più un misto di tante cose, residui di viaggi, ricordi, fotografie ed accessori che si accumulano piano piano nella vita come nelle stanze e che ogni tanto vanno lasciati andare. Lo so che qualche mia amica vorrebbe buttare via tutto, ma certi percorsi hanno un loro tempo, una loro storia.

E se le cose te le portano via? Così senza un preavviso?
A volte si piange, a volte ci si sente sollevati. A volte la rabbia prende il sopravvento su tutto il resto, ci toglie lucidità e ci trasmette una dipendenza da ciò che non c’è che non è reale e nemmeno poi così sana. Se mi portassero via tutte le cose che ho credo che perderei un po’ di equilibrio, un po’ di quella stabilità che il sapere che una cosa c’è mi dona in automatico. Credo che non avrei più la capacità di stare bene fra le mie quattro mura, che sarebbero state così violate nel loro silenzio. Penso che mi sentirei un po’ più sola e molto più insicura.

Perchè del distacco è importante il modo, che ne fa la differenza

P.S. Si, Anj ho buttato via i cuscini ed i badge. per il resto siamo in work in progress

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