Macino chilometri come scaglie impazzite

Percorro i chilometri che mi separano dalla casa semplicemente seguendo le righe sull’asfalto, quelle bianche, quelle precise, quelle perfette, quelle che si susseguono, quelle che sono perfettamente corrispondenti alle luci nelle gallerie: luci gialle, luci così asettiche però così familiare allo stesso tempo
Sono asettiche come quelle degli ospedali, quelle delle corsie, quelle bianche quando si riflettono sulle pareti che non hanno colore ma sono così familiari

Questi duecento chilometri o meglio 185 per la precisione, che separano le due case della mia vita, la casa dei genitori, quella dove sono cresciuta, dove tutto mi sembra noto e poi quella che ho fatto io, con tutto quello che ho creato, quella che passo dopo passo ho scelto, fin nei minimi dettagli, quella che ho reso mia riempiendola di cose, ricordi, fotografie, momenti, vasi, colori, puzzle, stoviglie, posizioni, tessuti.
Quella che è semplicemente casa mia, quella cui si torna sempre, la sera, proprio come in questo momento quando il buio intorno inizia a farsi vedere, quando la luce del sole ormai non si vede più ed esce il grigio, il grigio dei monti che ne segna il percorso, ne segna il contorno, e ci sono gli alberi, che sono ormai inscindibili uno dall’altro e si susseguono e creano la collina, e creano contorni veri e propri, che nel profilo di queste montagne che in realtà non sono Alpi, ma ma sono semplicemente colline, colline che degradano e finiscono nel mare

Mare. Il mio unico, inscindibile e prezioso elemento. Quello che mi fa sentire me stessa, come niente e nessuno mai potrà riuscire.

Percorro queste vie, questo percorso, queste gallerie, queste curve, queste linee sinuose che mi conducono fino a casa. Si susseguono, passo il Turchino, arrivo a Masone, passo Masone ed arrivo ad Ovada, la sorpasso. E poi c’è Tortona e Pavia, fino ad arrivare a Milano. Fino alla città, fino al caos, fino alla mia vita vera e propria, quella che ogni giorno fa del mio essere persona una donna, sempre più completa, sempre più precisa, come quando percorro queste vie, queste corsie, e non esco mai dal selciato. Le percorro precisa, come se avessi fatto questo tutta la vita, come se il mio hobby ed il mio lavoro fossero solo quello di inforcare la macchina e percorrere questi 180 chilometri

È nata una pala eolica, che mi aiuta durante il percorso a sentire che in realtà, nonostante le tradizioni, nonostante il tempo che sembra non passare mai e che sembra lasciare indenne la nostra realtà, i giorni si susseguono e cambiano e la tecnologia diventa reale, pura, vera, intanto gira gira sul Turchino e mi segue. Sembra che mi saluti mentre gira in senso orario, nello stesso identico senso del mio contachilometri quando schiaccio il pedale ed aumenta la velocità: cento, centodieci, centoventi. Ormai non supero più i limiti, e pensare che parecchi anni fa, una vecchia Clio rossa, senza neanche più cerchioni, sportiva, assetata bassa, con quella grinta che soltanto le macchine piccole e ben piantati per terra posseggono, mi aiutava a percorrere questi chilometri, le prime volte, quando Milano per me significava solo università, studio, sacrifici, libri, notti in bianco, sveglia all’alba, mezz’ore trascorse in metropolitana per raggiungere due capi opposti della città, Piola, Politecnico, università, ingegneria. Una scelta difficile la mia, come lo sono queste curve, come sono queste montagne mentre la nebbia piano piano le avvolge scendendo, quasi ad accarezzare il mare. La pianura padana è lì, dietro l’angolo, e mi lascio alle spalle il mare e la sua distesa di acqua infinita e vado inesorabilmente, senza mai fermarmi, verso la città.
Ecco, l’ennesima galleria dentro cui entrare, e poi ecco che lì finiscono.

E tutto questo scivola via, scivola via in un 25 sera, che non sembra neanche più avere il sapore del Natale. Mi scivola tutto, fra le dita delle mani, e questo percorso così familiare, così semplice, ed allo stesso tempo così difficile per qualcuno che la macchina la guida soltanto nel fine settimana, per me invece è così facile, come se fosse un componente di casa, ne conosco ogni curva, ogni momento, ogni brivido, so esattamente qual è la sensazione che si prova ad ogni passo, ad ogni metro.

È dodici anni che percorro questo tratto di autostrada, avanti ed indietro, dietro ed avanti, con qualunque tipo di meteo, che ci sia la neve, nella nebbia, la pioggia, il sole. Tutto, questa strada è tutto, è come se fosse il significato di tutto, che porta tutto, e che mi riporta a casa

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