Il terremoto in testa

Sarà che a me il terremoto non piace. Preferisco la tromba d’aria, che vedevo spesso in mare davanti a casa. Blu di un blu così profondo e cupo da rendere l’acqua intorno quasi nera. E la vedevi lontana: reale e presente ma distante da te. Con la percezione che se si fosse mossa verso riva si sarebbe dissolta come la sabbia nella clessidra quando il suo tempo termina.

Il terremoto no. È diverso. Non lo vedi ma lo senti e non puoi osservarlo con distacco, vedere da che parte tira e contare a quanti chilometri dita da te come si fa con il rumore del tuono e la luce del fulmine.

Dormivo quel sabato notte. Da sola a stella nel mio letto matrimoniale. Dormivo come i bambini quando crollano completamente. Ricaricavo lentamente le mie esauste batterie quando mi sono svegliata di soprassalto. Tutto intorno a me il silenzio

Sotto di me la terra che si muoveva e mi muoveva nel letto. Movimenti decisi ed orizzontali. Silenziosi ma forti, quasi da squarciare quella patina trasparente e impalpabile che mi avvolgeva.
Il respiro si è fermato, non so per quanto, ma mi è sembrata un eternità e mentre mentalmente cercavo di contare i secondi speravo con tutta me stessa che finisse.

E poi, esattamente come è comparso, eccolo sparire. Tutto si è fermato improvvisamente. E il respiro ha ripreso il suo corso.

Continuo ad avere quella sensazione nella testa. La vedo nel muoversi dell’acqua nel bicchiere, nel leggero movimento che ha il monitor quando si muovono le cassettiere. Spero che mi abbandoni perché questo non sentirmi mai sola non mi piace

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