I no della testa

Ho freddo.
Non il freddo da maglione, il freddo da riscaldamento, il freddo che senti quando è inverno. Il freddo quello sciocco che ti prende quando la testa sopravvento dice di no mentre tutto il resto del corpo avrebbe voluto dire di sì
Non so nemmeno come sia successo. So che fai una serie di cose, le metti tutte in fila e poi aspetti. Aspetti con la speranza nel cuore, quella stessa speranza che ti fa guardare il monitor del telefono in attesa di un messaggio. Quella che ti fa sobbalzare, quella che ti fa sentire vivo. Poi accade, non con i tuoi tempi, ti prende alla sprovvista. Accade e tu invece di dire di sì scuoti la testa. Neghi, lascia andare, rifiuti. E mentre lo stai dicendo ti sei già pentito, e non sai nemmeno perché l’hai detto.
Vorresti prendere la macchina e rimediare. Alzare il telefono, superare l’imbarazzo, dire quello che hai nella testa. Invece resti fermo, sperando che il tuo no non sia sono troppo categorico, anche se temi di aver rotto qualcosa.

A volte le persone hanno paura, forse è per questo che dicono no

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