Siamo donne.
viviamo in un perenne equilibrio su un tacco alto, come nella vita.
Fra il tirare fuori gli attributi, che abbiamo solo in maniera figurativa, ed il sentirci semplicemente donne che hanno bisogno di un uomo vicino che le protegga

Ma nessun uomo può proteggerci da noi stesse, perchè non c’è nessuno in grado di farci più male di quello che sappiamo infliggerci da sole. Noi stesse, proprio quelle che noi dovremmo amare e rispettare ed invece ricacciamo nel buio, soffochiamo con rimorsi, annebbiamo con rimpianti, alla disperata ricerca di una felicità che neghiamo a mente e corpo

Sappiamo farci male, più del vetro di un bicchiere che ci arriva addosso, magari non senza ragione, ma scagliato da altra mano che non sia la nostra. Sappiamo ferirci, in profondità, quella che nemmeno chi ci vuole più bene riesce a vedere, quella che non si vede, che resta nascosta anche all’occhio vigile del papà

Inutili punizioni dalle quali cerchiamo di evadere eludendo nient’altro che noi stesse. Siamo patetiche a volte, incapaci di tirarci fuori da situazioni che sembrano più grandi di noi, dove siamo inciampate lasciando che il nostro corpo ci finisse senza interpellare cuore e ragione. Chiediamo una nuova occasione, la chiediamo all’altro, a chi abbiamo ferito, a chi abbiamo davanti. A chi ci capisce e ci guarda con gli occhi pieni di lacrime di chi è stato ferito. E mentre la chiediamo supplichevoli agli altri, non la concediamo a noi stesse, flagellandoci invano di un dolore che ha il sapore amaro dell’auto.commiserazione, del pianto fine a se stesso, quello che ti sfianca, che ti fa vomitare fino l’anima. Quello che ci distrugge fisicamente a partire dagli occhi fino ad arrivare nel lato più profondo di noi, quello dove coviamo rabbia e rancore verso noi stesse.

Dovremmo imparare. Sempre, da qualunque situazione. Capire ed imparare. Dare un penso ai nostri gesti che sia motivato, che sia razione al di là di quello che sappiamo essere. Darci una prova, una speranza, un’occasione. Apprendere dalla nostra fragilità e renderla un punto di forza, di orgoglio. Incanalare ciò che ti sporco abbiamo dentro verso la reazione. Quella vera, che non si perde in parole perchè non ne ha il tempo, non ne ha il modo. Va troppo di fretta per fermarsi a spiegare mettendo una dietro l’altra parole che all’apparenza sembrano solo l’eco dei nostri pensieri. Non può aspettare, perchè lo ha già fatto abbastanza e mentre prima le bastava camminare per restare al passo, adesso deve correre per recuperare, per fare le cose in metà tempo ma farle bene come se ne impiegasse il doppio.

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